On December 17th, 2015 I received my first admission decision from a university I vividly pictured myself living and learning in. They didn’t want me. Rejection hurts bad as a seventeen year old and still does two years later at the age of nineteen. Admittedly, I sobbed a little that night scared that I wouldn’t be anywhere in the Fall of 2016. A day later I saw the highly anticipated Force Awakens with around 15 people. For about 2 hours my anxieties and worries of the real world disappeared. I left the theater elated but still scared of the future. Later on I applied to several other schools and hoped for the best. That frightened 12th grader to the left is me.
Two years later I was sitting in my dorm room with a couple of friends speculating and theorizing what may come to be in The Last Jedi. The conversation went on but for a couple seconds I looked down and reflected back to 2015. Then, I was still in high school, worried that I wouldn’t get into a university. Now, in the late hours of the night, I was talking Star Wars with friends in my sophomore year at university.
Simply put, the future is terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. There were tons of stressful and hard times between the releases of Episodes VII and VIII but I made it. Right now my biggest fear is being able to find a job in the real world because I am honestly scared to try and find a smaller part-time one on campus; but it’s my New Year’s Resolution to go out and do so. Maybe in two years time when Star Wars IX: Black Diamond (working title) comes out I would have done an internship, applied to graduate school, or have done something else entirely. I don’t know. And honestly, if I’ve learned anything from my the state of my life in correlation with SW, the future doesn’t matter. Here and now does. Then, whatever it may look like, is out my hands but for some reason I’m a little more hopeful than usual that then won’t be so bad.
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Please Wait. A lot of Star Wars content is coming your way.